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Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.

"I feel privileged to participate in a process that empowers my clients to transform their lives for the better."

SUCCESSES - Moving beyond discouragement to achieve success

A software consultant uses life coaching to move beyond a major disappointment and remotivates himself to achieve success.

SITUATION

Sam’s consulting firm provides software solutions to small businesses. Some time before coming to see me for life coaching, Sam realized that to grow his business he needed to market to larger companies. As the result of an aggressive marketing campaign, Sam had been invited to submit a proposal for a project. The job was just what Sam had been looking for and he worked very hard on the proposal.

When the contract was awarded to another firm, Sam was devastated by his disappointment. He was totally preoccupied with feelings of failure. Fearing that he would never succeed, he could not face the prospect of going through the entire process again. Thoroughly demoralized and unmotivated, he was not interested in networking or prospecting. Sam sought life coaching to get himself out of the doldrums so he could move ahead and achieve success.

LIFE COACHING APPROACH

It was clear that until Sam became motivated once again, he would have difficulty following through with Solution Focused Coaching. In situations such as these, Interactive Imagery can provide the perspective that empowers clients to move forward and achieve their goals.

In a state of deep relaxation, Sam asked his inner wisdom what it wanted him to learn to help him move ahead. Sam was told that he needed to understand more about success and failure.

Inner wisdom often communicates with us most eloquently through images. What immediately appeared was an enormous black Spider, as big as King Kong. The Spider said that it was there to teach Sam about failure.

The Spider explained that it would not bite Sam unless he embraced it. As soon as the Spider said this, Sam was seized by apprehension. The moment he felt this fear, he found himself stuck in the Spider’s sticky web. He could not get free. His fear of failure had put him within reach of its grasp.

As frightened and apprehensive as Sam was, the Spider just looked at him and affirmed once again that it would not bite him unless he embraced it.

Sam hesitated. Why would he want to embrace the Spider? But then, realizing that this was the way to learn more about failure, he went ahead and embraced the Spider.

The instant he did this the Spider bit Sam on the neck. “Right on the jugular!” the Spider exclaimed as it bit him. Immediately Sam felt totally paralyzed with feelings of inadequacy and despair. The spider hurried over and started wrapping the helpless man all up in its filament, which was as strong as steel. As the Spider worked, it reminded Sam that this never would have happened if Sam had not embraced Failure, and that he never would have been stuck in the web, within striking range of the Spider, had he not feared Failure.

Then, suddenly, the palm of Sam’s hand began to itch intensely. He started scratching his palm furiously. The Spider said to Sam, “See, even when you feel helpless, inadequate and despairing, you are still alive. That itching is there to show you that you are still alive and as long as you are alive, you can do something about your situation, if you choose to do so.”

Responding to this Sam, asked how he could get himself out of the Spider’s grasp. The Spider responded, “That is not my department. You must now go and learn about Success.”

What appeared was a gigantic Sunflower. As Sam focused on the Sunflower the Spider and its web disappeared.

Sam was deeply moved by the beauty of the Sunflower, the brightness of the petals and, especially, the exquisite geometric pattern of the seeds in the center. This was one of those sunflowers with a broad head, so there were hundreds of these seeds. The Sunflower told Sam that the first thing he needed to learn about success was that every success holds within it the seeds for countless other successes.

Sam’s focus at this moment was not on success. He was still deeply pained by his recent failure to land the job he had hoped for. He asked the Sunflower, “What about all of the seeds that fall on rocky soil and never have the chance to grow, or are eaten by rabbits when they are just little shoots or wither and die because they get no water?”

The Sunflower replied, “That is destiny. The lack of success is not failure; the lack of success is destiny.”

This was an extremely powerful message for Sam because he had so personalized the loss of the project he had hoped would boost his firm to the next level. No one would blame a seed that fell on unfertile ground for failing to sprout. No one would say that it was the fault of a vibrant young seedling that a rabbit had recognized it as a tasty meal and had devoured it. These awarenesses helped release Sam from the feelings of personal failure that had been paralyzing him.

Nonetheless, he still felt discouragement about the lack of immediate prospects for expanding his business. Sam asked the Sunflower, “What about during the wintertime? You are all beautiful and radiant right now, but what about the winter when there are no sunflowers around to shine?”

The Sunflower responded, “The next thing you need to learn about success is that success is cyclical. There will be times when the outcome of success will be wildly apparent, like the glorious blossoms of the Sunflower. There will be other times when success is held alive in the tiny seed, barely noticeable, or it is growing out of sight under the ground. At these times success is not less real, it is merely less evident. It is important to trust in the presence of success even if it is not apparent. This trust enables you to nurture the seeds to grow.”

These words helped Sam to gain a broader perspective of his situation. He recognized that, although his current situation was discouraging, he could reasonably hope that it would not always remain so.

The Sunflower then told Sam that there was one more thing he needed to learn about success. “Any time you begin a project of any kind that you care about,” the Sunflower told him, “something that you are willing to work at and nurture, it holds within it the potential for success. At the very moment that you plant the sunflower seed, the potential for the beautiful realization of the glorious flower is initiated. And the better you care for it, the more likely it will grow.”

RESULTS

The Sunflower’s encouragement helped stir Sam out of the apathy he had been experiencing since his disappointment. He resumed his marketing activities, following steps we developed through Solution Focused Coaching .

When he finally won a contract, it was a good fit and substantially increased his business.

To learn more about how life coaching and Interactive Imagery can help you achieve success click here...